It’s a good thing we have a big show in Lafayette tonight and another one in Sacto tomorrow. I have moved on to the book “Ender’s Shadow” and am thinking more and more about people’s limits. I think I hit mine last night. I learned that two of our tracks for the album are missing. All we had to do with the album was get these 2 songs to the mixer and the whole project would be complete by December 1st. Now we have to rerecord them and it was too much for me, looking back on all the work we’d done, to have another setback. The only help was my boyfriend and drummer Whitney telling me not to lift a finger; that he would arrange a rerecording and still have everything done by then. And there was Jacob, offering to be there for the rerecording and do all the sound work. And there was Rolf, offering his recording devices and possibly a space. It was all coming together and yet it was too much for me to handle. It was the second time that tracks have been lost and I was positive the first time, but last night I felt broken. I ate some mango sorbet and cried a bit (I feel embarassed admitting that, but a year and a half of student recording sessions has taken its toll). I just want to have something to give. And then a new friend, Jessica, e-mailed me about seeing her friend wearing our T-shirt (one of the few that have leaked out) and telling me she was really into the music and coming to our Sacto show. And Claire asked when our next SF show was. Things are going really really well. It is only my efficiency and impatience that wear on me. Joe is kind and helpful and will have the band over for a home cooked meal Sunday. We play our new cover songs tonight and performing is more fun than ever. People are catching on. People are getting something out of the words. If only by New Years we have something to give back to everyone who has shown support and interest, then I could be happy. And I guess I am happy right now that I just got 3 interviews for my podcast- 3 musicians from the Bay Area I care about- Billy White, Jacob Wolkenhauer and Steve Laciak. And the guitar my brother lent me sits in the spare office of the skyscraper I’m in right now. And there’s you, reading this post. Thanks Life for you!

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